Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
