so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
