she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
