I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Randomize
