dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
