i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
