So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
