of course. lets lasso hookers.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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