names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
