So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
