wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize