And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
