I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
