Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
