In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
