all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
