My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
