Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
