If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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