like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
