been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize