Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
