At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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