butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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