Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
