Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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