a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
