Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
