I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
