Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
