you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
