if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
