I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize