Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
