I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
