the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
