Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think my fart just growled at me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
