So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
