I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
