2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize