So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
