Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
