You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
