All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
