ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
