You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
