I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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