direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And then my night got REAL pukey
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
