how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do herpes really smell.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
