Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I did not marry a roomba.
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