You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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