Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Michael Bay diarrhea
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize