Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
