I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
