so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
