Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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