you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
