yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
