You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
