Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
