k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
