I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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