There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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