Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
